I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
