listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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