while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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