He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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