I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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