dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
