dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
