this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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