you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
