He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
