I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were trust falling into bushes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
