ya dads aren't the best wingmen
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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