when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
