he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
