would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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