have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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