covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
