moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
