Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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