Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you traded sex for a burrito?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
