Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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