the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
