I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
