Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
