if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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