The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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