she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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