Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
