idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
