Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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