If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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