i would punch a child for taco bell
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
