Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
