I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
