You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
