Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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