this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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