She's JV to your varsity
well you can't waste a boner
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
