He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
