Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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