Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
