I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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