I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
