I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
