saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
