Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
