i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
