forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
