gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
