So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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