Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
